I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize