i don't like sucking hair
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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