I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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