I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
