I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You can't motorboat a personality
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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