I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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