i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize