Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
