We won't sleep together?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
