would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
