How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
