Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
