Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
