Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
