Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize