fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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