I have demons in me.
now i know why i became what i already was.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
