i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
