i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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