I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Found the puke drawer
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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