he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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