worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
