Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
