Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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