like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
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