So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
