I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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