If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
