is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
