Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
