This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
