Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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