i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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