it was like eating out sand paper
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
