one word: firstdatebathroomanal
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
