Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize