Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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