True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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