was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
