Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize