The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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