biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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