so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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