my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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