I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
