Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
