i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just gift wrapped bread.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
