i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
