Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
