also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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