Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
