Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
