her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
