I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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