I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
