Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We need to get me chipped asap
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
