wat bout pragnant strippers??
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
