fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize